For Hal on His Birthday

If you are a close friend of mine you know that I lost my husband on May 2. He passed away from heart failure. His heart just stopped. For those of you following my blog this year you know too that he had pneumonia six times in four months and he kept getting weaker. The doctors did all they could to save him, but he wasn't able to rally. I have been in mourning all this time and I would not be posting now if not for the fact that today was his birthday and it was my usual custom to write him a birthday poem. So here it is:

Birthday Cake in Heaven - For Hal on what would have been his birthday

Today was your birthday

and you were not here to

celebrate

though if you had been here

you would probably have said

no I don’t want cake for you

were not one for birthdays

It was always I who splurged

and went big on birthdays

decorating your chair and 

having a birthday morning

with presents and soft kisses

with your favorite breakfast

food in front of you

and as you ate your eggs

and read your cards we waited

for your smile for that was our

goal when we were around you

That smile healed all and we 

cherished it when it came

and at night the usual cake 

with the Happy Birthday words

and again your smile as you

accepted a piece and we knew

although you protested your

smile showed how much it

mattered to you

Now I wonder, are you having

birthday cake in heaven?

Are you making friends or

did you meet your parents

and is your mother smiling at

you as you shovel in the last

bite of cake?

copyright 2014 by Barbara Ehrentreu

I want to thank anyone who posted anything to help me get through those horrible first days. Specifically, Pearl Ketover Prilik who started a page called Virtual Shiva for Harold Ehrentreu. There I found beautiful photos of food and places and poems and words of sympathy. People came and virtually sat with me and held my hand over the internet. There are no words to express how comforting this was. I met some new people who were generous and sweet. 

There is a deep hole of sadness inside me and I imagine it will remain there for a long time, but I am starting to get back into the world again. My husband wanted us to start living life as soon as possible. He was a confirmed atheist and didn't believe in organized religion at all. He lived life on his own terms and we hope to bring his ashes to the sea when the weather permits. 

I don't know when I will post again, but until the next time, I hope you are all enjoying the spring weather. 

Last Post for April Poem A Day - Days 26, 27, 28, 29, 30!!!

Sorry for the lateness of all this, but my husband's health took a big turn for the worse. He needed to be moved to the ICU and also needed a bronchoscopy. They did that today, but they needed to put him on a respirator for awhile. We are hopeful this will help his lung to reinflate. However, we did go to the hospital, but he is now resting comfortably. So I decided to catch up on my writing. It helps me to write a lot!!!

This is the last day for April Poem A Day. My next blog will probably be going back to talking about writing and authors interviews. 

I am going to post all the days left in this blog:

April 26, 2014
Prompt: Write a poem about Water

Water

The rain pours
over all and I 
begin to think
of the water
pooling on the
ground

Bringer of life
We grow in it
in the womb
and use it to
replenish our
own liquid.

It can be a helper
or a monster
bringing floods with
deluging rains
or swirling in waves
as a tsunami

Or it can be 
a mirrored surface
where you can gaze
and dream and feel
peace

We bathe in it
and cleanse our
skins and we wash
our clothes in it
water splashing in 
circles

Water is everything
to us and we are
part of it 
We live in each other
Needing and being needed
copyright 2014 by Barbara Ehrentreu


April 27, 2014
Prompt: Write a poem about Monsters


Monsters

When I was a girl there
were movies with monsters
playing on Saturdays in huge
theaters where the smell of
popcorn hit your nostrils as
you walked into the lobbies

But I didn't watch those
for I had my own fears
of monsters hiding in
my closet each night
waiting for me to open
and they would jump 
out to get me

So my friends would go
and tell me they had to
hide their eyes when the
monsters like Godzilla, 
came on the screen
I thought I would never
see these horror movies,
including the ones with 
zombies and vampires,
but somehow they found
me

At summer camp the night
movies with their scratchy
sounds filled the canvas
pull down screen with the
images I most wanted to
never see with the sounds
roaring over me and I a
captive audience needed
to stay and watch 

Years later I became
desensitized to monsters
of all kinds with Mystery Science 
Theater and suddenly I saw
how phony these monsters
were. I could see the craziness
of these movies without feeling
fear and found the fun that my
friends so long ago had known

Of course, by that time
I no longer believed monsters
lived in closets and knew they
really lived in the real world
where I could not hide from
them and had to pray they
would not visit me
copyright 2014 by Barbara Ehrentreu


April 28, 2014
Prompt: Write about being Settled

A Life Unsettled

I thought my life was settled
A smooth sailing until the end
where eventually all would fade
and fly away, but into this
tranquil scene arrived a storm

No one realized how strong
this storm was 
Yet it continued to batter
and smash up his body
Unyielding and relentless
it continued to destroy

Until now the body is
weak and fighting, but
needs life support
for its breath

Nothing is settled
yet and we are in
limbo waiting for 
one small body
part to be healed
and go back to
its job of holding
air
copyright 2014 by Barbara Ehrentreu


April 29, 2014
Prompt: Write a Two for Tuesday poem either real of magical or in the style of Gabriel Garcia Marquez.


Magic Universe

I would weave you
a cloak of golden
threads to cover
your shoulders
and heal your
wounds and you
would walk with
your old strength
beyond the hospital
doors and into a 
world where we
were floating in
an azure sky 
flying and flitting
never setting down

And that golden cloak
woven with the threads
of healing blossoms
colored with the whims
of all dreams
would repel all sickness
and you would be whole
again
copyright 2014 by Barbara Ehrentreu


Cold Reality

The news is harsh
Doctors deliver it in
measured tones as
if they knew more 
than they are saying
but they hold onto
some truths

Nurses are the 
buffers who slip
in and out ministering
to the patient without
judgement 
They keep me whole
for somehow I feel 
like an undone jigsaw
with pieces going
every which way
Not even able to find
the corners so I 
can begin to put
them back together

copyright 2014 by Barbara Ehrentreu

April 30, 2014

Prompt: Write a poem to Call it a Day

Ode to April

Don't want to call it a day

for April has been a 

resurgence of poems

and a refill for my

soul as each day

brought its prompt

I charged into the

words as they came

to me sharing all I 

wrote for friends 

and yet to be friends

in a secure bubble

of acceptance and

friendly discussion

Never thinking for

a minute that this

wasn't ready for 

all to read, though

some might not have

been honed as well

due to the hastiness

in which they were 

poemed

But thank you for the

outlet for I feel without

it I might have dissolved

into a gooey mess and

sat alone wondering

how long I could take

this endless illness in

my husband and feeling

sorry for myself like a 

petulant teen

With my words flowing onto 

the screen my mind 

unleashed and all went into

my poems a melange of

pain and discovery, frustration

and rare moments when 

I remembered the before times

when life was ebullient and 

effortless

When he was a young

dashing man and I a 

mere slip of a girl and

we were enclosed in

each other's arms

I am not ready to call it 

a day to write a poem

a day for it soothes me

like a warm cup of tea

copyright 2014 by Barbara Ehrentreu

Until the next time thank you again to all who have tweeted and retweeted my poems. I am so happy you found value in them. As you can see in my last poem I am not ready to call it a day and may continue to write and post more occasionally. Meanwhile I am going to copy all these April poems to the Poetry section of this blog. If you missed any you can find them there.:) 

Day 24 of April Poem A Day!!!

The prompt for today inspired me to write about the news. 

April 24, 2014
Prompt: Title your poem Tell It To..... and write a poem to match the title.

Tell It To The News

Tell it to the man who
blows hot air filled with
nonsense all over my
TV screen and to the
power hungry leaders
who must attack their
own people to feel good

Tell it to the endless stream
of breaking news that
floats underneath in waves
as we try to digest ten
things at once

Tell it to the useless rolls
of looped action played
over and over again until
you have memorized the
actions even if they are
violent or ridiculous

Tell it to the accident victims
who only wanted to have
a good time, but instead
they are now front and center
battered and bruised featured
as a story while they are
carted off to the ER

Tell it to the abused people
whose lives are not
showcased for all to see
but instead must live with
the chaos of war in a place
where news has deserted it

Tell it to my overflowing
brain inured to explosions
and gun fire from seeing them
all too many times in living
color on the screen and
wondering why when all
prefer no guns we have
a place in our country
where guns rule

Tell it to the horror of loss
we have seen too many
times on the faces of
parents whose children
were caught in the
nonsense of gun fire
and whose melting faces
will be immortalized on
the screen

copyright 2014 by Barbara Ehrentreu

Until the next time, thank you to Vicki Batman and H. K. Carlton for tweeting about this blog from the beginning. Also a big shout out to Madeleine McLaughlin, Melanie King, Jenna Storm, and Lea Barrymire and Ann Swann for their tweets too!!! You have made me very happy!!! 

Day 22 and Day 23 of April Poem A Day!!

I am a day late posting this, because I forgot to do it last night. So I am posting two days today.  
Yesterday's prompt was for Two for Tuesday and so I did write two poems. Here they are for yesterday:

April 22, 2014
Prompt: Write a pessimistic and /or optimistic poem

Hope

Each day I fill up my hope
balloon for the journey
and we travel along the
corridors of silent walls
where it leaks slowly
and we settle in
hospital rooms never
seeing how the leak
increases and by the
end of the day it is
only a withered remnant
I must take home and
fill up again

copyright 2014 by Barbara Ehrentreu

The next poem could be considered optimistic, but I wrote it because it was Earth Day yesterday:

Saving the Earth

The Earth will be saved
only if we care enough
about it to stop the
destructive ways we
have been showing
towards her

Her green meadows
will thrive with wildflowers
and the songs of birds
while the sun will bathe
her in its brilliant light
creating the food we
all need to live

We will save our Earth
from the destroyers who
care only about greed
and not about the delicacy
of a violet rising from the
soil or the smile on the
child’s face who sees it

Our Earth is precious
and we need its bounty
not to be sullied by evil
businesses who want
only profit and don’t care
about the dirty oil that
will spill and cover all

But I believe we can
keep this from happening
with the strength of the
truth as we fight and
continue to fight to
preserve the verdant tresses
of our land

copyright 2014 by Barbara Ehrentreu

Here is the poem for today. 

April 23, 2014

Prompt: Write a location poem

You Are My Home

The pillows sit on top of each other

Your sink is almost empty

Your side of the bed sits empty too

Each night I go to sleep with the

phone near my head in case you

call me and wake me in the 

morning

Everything waits for you

as if all of us were in limbo

a sense of absence fills

the place and we all know

you are missing and there

is imbalance 

You are not here in body

for there is another place

where you live now

It is sterile and spare

but it is your home now

among the tubes delivering

medicine to you keeping

you there and I want to 

crawl into that bed and

have your arms around me

though you are weak now

and it would be me holding

you and then I would be

home and find the missing

piece of my life 

for you are my home and

I will plant myself where you

are

copyright 2014 by Barbara Ehrentreu

Until the next time, I can't believe we only have a week more of this to go. I am not going to be happy when this month ends. I hope all of you have been able to celebrate National Poetry Month by either writing or reading poetry.:) 

April 24 is Poem in Your Pocket Day. On this day you place a poem in the pocket of a loved one and they find it during the day. Or you leave a poem anywhere. 

I will be going back to my usual format in May with guest authors and my usual meanderings.:)

Day 21 of April Poem A Day!!!

The prompt for today brought me back to my tutoring experience and working with students who needed help in Reading. Many times they had missed something and when they learned it they did better. This is a poem about a boy with whom I worked for a year before he improved in Reading.

April 21, 2014
Prompt: Write a poem about going Back to Basics

His Need

When he read for me I knew
the skips and the falters
the omissions of words
his whole demeanor as he
pored over the words
his eyes scrunched with
frustration as he missed
more and more

I knew he needed to
start over and relearn
all that had somehow
slipped over him as he
struggled engulfed
with sadness to make sense
of a foreign world each time
he saw a new task

He needed to go back
to before he saw words
so I showed him diagrams
and matching picture to
picture in an attempt to
fill in the blanks of a child
whose lack of ability
probably stemmed from
his loss of understanding
somewhere along the way

He needed the basics of
recognizing shapes to read
words and soon he was reading
those words and soon he was
reading paragraphs and soon
he no longer needed me.

copyright 2014 by Barbara Ehrentreu

Until the next time, again thank you to all who are tweeting and retweeting about this blog. I am very honored you are doing this.:) I am writing these for my own reasons, but it is nice to know someone else is enjoying them too.:)

Day 20 of April Poem A Day!!

This is very late, because we were in the ER with my husband who has pneumonia again. If you are keeping count this is the sixth time!!! It came on him almost overnight as he was trying to get stronger at rehab. Please pray that he gets 100% better this time!!!!

Today's prompt was about families and it was very hard for me to write it:


April 20, 2014
Prompt: Write a poem about family


Family Circle

I began with my mother and father
their joy in me made me feel 
special and I thought this feeling
would last forever then on came
my brother with his insistence on
being heard and taking all the 
attention away from me, but
I was a dignified nine year old
and eager for the opportunity
to find my own independence
so I enjoyed the non attention
of my parents until the day 
when Hal appeared and 
my parents became 
background noise as my
world expanded in new
directions and spread from
coast to coast with Hal at
the center
my center until Rachel with 
her soft baby ways enveloped
both of us with the cloak of
parenthood and suddenly
I was a mother and though
I still had my mother she 
became my refuge and
safe touchstone as I 
navigated the rocky waters
of a new parent and just
when I thought I knew
the terrain along came
Sara and knocked me 
off my course
Now there were four of
us and suddenly I was
at the helm of my own
family steering through 
the chaos of the various
ages along the way losing
my touchstone and having
to struggle without her support
to keep us afloat
Trying to absorb all the 
horror and the joy as my family
veered toward the rocky shoreline
and ran aground at times
And Hal who had been stalwart
and strong throughout became
the one we needed to tend to and
worry about 
the one who needed extra care
who became weak and wispy 
disease becoming his best friend
Yet we rallied round him making
a circle of ourselves.
copyright 2014 by Barbara Ehrentreu


Until the next time, I again thank whoever tweeted about the poems on this blog!! Thank you to all my loyal followers. You are the best!! Thank you to any new people who have happened upon this blog. You are all welcome!!

Day 19 of April Poem A Day!!

Well we're more than halfway through the month and I'm still writing!! Today's prompt was to write about a color. Here are my poems for today:

April 19, 2014
Prompt: Title your poem a color and write about it.

Flesh Color

For me flesh color was the crayon I used
the least and only for faces and hands
But if I had looked around me when
I was a little girl I would have
realized this wasn’t the color
for everyone

Yet every crayon box had this
one crayon marked flesh color
and no others for the various
differences of my classmates
and random people I saw in
my city

I wonder if a child who was
not this color thought about
why this was the one chosen
to be flesh color
Why wasn’t it darker or browner
or yellower

When they colored a picture
of themselves what did they
use for the face and hands?
Was this their only choice
and what did that say about

the crayon makers who
continued to use this color
until late into the 90s when
finally they decided to add
a whole assortment marked
flesh color and gave it
its own little box

copyright 2014 by Barbara Ehrentreu

Here is my second poem about my favorite color:

Red

I always write about red

the color I will always

choose for it brings me

joy and lifts my spirits

like no other color can

Oh, gold is nice

and I love when it

sparkles especially

gold sequins lavishly

adorning fabric

or gold shoes peeking

out from a formal gown

Silver is sparkly too

and it creates a sheen

wherever it is placed

making things special

Orange has its moments

especially as the skin of

an orange or of course

pumpkins plump and 

ready for picking

Lavender is soothing

in a quiet and dignified

way it creates an aura

of peace and tranquility

But red is the one for

me and will always be

my refuge and my favorite

and I will always choose

this standout color in

all its shades of fire engine,

vermillion, ruby and even

red-orange

Its glow creates a fire

inside me and instills 

a spark which carries

me through my day

and warms me from

the inside out 

copyright 2014 by Barbara Ehrentreu

Until the next time, I hope you are enjoying these posts. I am not getting any comments so I don't know how you are thinking. Please let me know. If you comment remember they are moderated so it might be awhile before you see it. Be patient I always try to approve them quickly.

Happy Easter to all who are celebrating. Passover is drawing to a close and this year it has been a difficult holiday with my husband starting out in the hospital and now in rehab.