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Showing posts with label sarcoidosis. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sarcoidosis. Show all posts

Sunday, January 2, 2011

Happy New Year Thoughts!




When I was younger, back in the days when my parents went out for New Years Eve, I wanted to be a grown up and go out for New Year's Eve. I'd watch the people on TV in big venues and see the big bands play. In night clubs people wore funny hats and drank champagne and in Times Square people stood packed like sardines to watch the ball descend. It seemed a magical holiday to me. So when I got old enough to go on dates, having a date for New Year's Eve became my top priority.

Though I was only seventeen my first year in college, I managed to get a blind date for New Year's Eve from two friends at once. I then had not one, but two dates for New Year's. I chose my roommate's date choice and told the other (the man who became my husband) I was busy babysitting my brother. After all, my roommate's choice was at Harvard and the other was in the Army. This was in the early 60's and the Ivy League won out.:) We didn't do any of the glamorous things I thought we would do, but at least I was out for New Year's. Though it was not so exciting when we ran into a snowstorm and my date had to keep stopping every five minutes to wipe off his windshield wipers.

Through the years whenever I went out on New Year's Eve I kept hoping for the glitz and glamour I had seen as a girl. One year our first New Year's as a married couple, we went out to a bar/restaurant in Binghamton. At the time we were living in Cortland, NY, so Binghamton was a big city for us. I was dieting so I didn't eat much during the day thinking I was going to have a big meal at night. I had dressed up and wore a little black chiffon dress with a plunging neckline. At twenty-one I must have looked incredible:) When we got to the restaurant after seeing a movie where I hadn't even have any popcorn, I was handed a glass of champagne. There was a buffet, but I was dieting, so I didn't eat very much. Later we sat at the bar and ordered a split of champagne for the two of us. I had two more glasses with no more food. At some point my husband left for a few minutes leaving me alone talking with this other guy. I started to think this guy sounds drunk when the next thing I know I'm on the bar room floor!!! No kidding, there I was on the floor surrounded by strangers. All I wanted to see was the familiar face of my husband and there he was. He found out how I had gotten on the floor. I had passed out on the bar and they put me on the floor. He grabbed me by the hand and after I had dusted myself off he walked me to the door. It was frigid outside and I was in this sleeveless, backless, plunging neckline black chiffon dress that was above my knees. He then opened the door and started walking me down the block. I didn't feel a thing and we continued walking until we had gone halfway around the block. I was still not cold so we walked until I felt the cold, which was when we reached the bar again. That night in the hotel room my husband got when he realized how drunk I was, I couldn't go to sleep. After that night I never drank anything on an empty stomach.:)

After our children were born we got into the habit of staying home. I bought hats and noise makers and every New Year's Eve we celebrated with our children, wore our hats and used our noisemakers. Every year before 12 midnight we had a ritual. I put the glasses in the freezer and my husband got the champagne ready and opened it exactly five minutes before midnight. We had munchies and a special dessert too. At midnight we all watched the ball drop and wished each other Happy New Year. Last year I lost the bag with those New Year novelties when we threw it out after the fire. So this year we didn't have our usual celebration. One daughter was at her own party and the other didn't really have her heart in it this year. With my husband's illness and unfortunately, my own sinus infection and the fact I was taking antibiotics, we didn't have champagne. But we did have sparkling apple cider, though that tastes delicious there is no extra kick!! I missed the champagne and the hazy feeling that it was New Year's Eve. Yet the New Year arrived and we were all here together.

My year has started with less than a bang, but I am very hopeful that this is going to be a better year. At least we are not in a hotel and we don't have to go into a smoke-filled house that was condemned due to fire and sift through years of belongings with frozen hands. And we don't have to pack up our life in two weeks. Last January at this time I was thankful to be in a warm room and have a place to live. Now I am hoping that my husband's hypercalcemia caused by his sarcoidosis is going to be controlled again as the doctor claims. He says it is temporary and my husband will be back to normal as soon as they get the right balance of drugs. It is an unknown. But there is something to look forward to in this new year, my book, If I Could Be Like Jennifer Taylor, is going to be published in September. It's my literary baby so I'm feeling like any pregnant woman would. I am pregnant with book and it will be delivered in nine months!!!! Meanwhile joy is bursting inside me when I think that the New Year's resolution I made six years ago is finally coming true!!!!

Unfortunately, one more part of me needs tending. When I went to the orthopedic doctor he said I had a gastric tear in my calf muscle and I need to go to physical therapy. I need to have my insurance company approve it, and when they do I have to call the rehab place and make appointments. With my tutoring schedule I am going to have to make them during the day. That cuts into my time for writing and there has been too little of that lately:) But I need it, because I am limping on that leg if I don't use it for awhile. So I have to go to rehab.:)

I did make some literary resolutions and here they are:

1. Submit my second novel, When My Life Changed, to publishers.

2. Work on my third YA novel, Footsteps on the Sand, which I wrote for last year's NaNo.

3. Work on my romance/suspense/adventure novel, Tall Poison, in my critique group.

4. Really try to read and critique all subs for my critique group.

5. Write a new blog post more frequently than once a week.

6. Go back to writing at least a poem a week and post on Poetic Asides comment page.

7. Write another short story. Either work on an old one or write a new one. Maybe fill out the story I started last week. (That's another whole blog post.):)

8. Write my articles for Examiner.com.


That's all for now. Until the next time thank you to my new readers and to the loyal followers who continue to read my meanderings. I hope all of you had a good New Year's Eve and I wish all of you a Happy, Healthy, Peaceful and Prosperous New Year. This is our year, can't you feel it????

For some excellent reading please check out MuseItUp Publishing's Book Store where you will find ebooks for everyone at reasonable prices. I didn't get an e-reader, but I am hoping to buy one soon. These books are very high quality and I'm not just saying this because this is my publisher. You know I would never steer you to anything that was not the best! You can click on the banner on the side or click on the link.

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

With Whom Would You Like to Travel?



As the holidays loom closer each day I'm sure some of you have planned vacations or if not you have trips you wish you could take. Will your family be your travel companions? Wouldn't it be wonderful if for just this once you could take a trip with one of your favorite fictional characters? Who would you choose? I know I would probably want someone who loves adventure but doesn't want to go off the deep end. :)

Recently a travel site, Tripbase, contacted me because they have listed their Top 10 Fictional Travellers. There aren't many lists that contain both Waldo and James Bond. Since they asked me very nicely, please go over and check out the list. Leave me a comment about which Traveller you would choose. I think I'd probably go for James Bond, but I'm drawn to Alice. She was my favorite character for many years.:)

Maybe this holiday you don't have plans to travel. Some of the best trips I have ever taken have been in the comfort of my own home. So curl up with one of these books and take the vacation of your life without moving an inch out of your door. Most of these have 5 star reviews, though some are here because I like them. I wanted to find ten, but I only found seven. Still I think this is a pretty good variety:

1. On the Road, Jack Kerouac - I think this is probably the quintessential fictional travel book!

2. Until I Find You, John Irving - Get ready for trips to Europe.

3. Gulliver's Travels, Jonathan Swift - Are you ready to encounter new civilizations?


5. Flame Tree: A Novel of Modern Burma, Keith Dahlberg - Immerse yourself in Burma and its culture.

6. Botticelli's Bed & Breakfast, Jan Pienkowski - A pop up book and a trip through the world of art.

7. Earth to Kat Vespucci, Ingrid Anders - A college girl travels abroad to find her roots.


This week on Thursday, December 23rd at 3PM Central, 4PM EST on Red River Writers Live Tales from the Pages my co-Host Cindie Miller and I are going to have a really great show. All of our guests are going to be reading an excerpt from either their own holiday story or their favorite holiday story. These are guests who have been on the show earlier this year or even last year. Afterward we will be having our usual discussion. So far my guests for the show will be:

Donald Hagelberg, Comedy Writer Mr. J, Jill Helene Fettner, Michelle McGriff, Penny Ehrenkranz,
Franny Armstrong, Janie Franz, and possibly Sally Drumm and the writers of Milspeak my guests for last year's Christmas show. Joining us for the discussion will be my friend and publisher of MuseItUp Publishing, Lea Schizas. There may be some more guests if we can fit them into the show.:)

Please join us for this unique and unusual show. Guests who listen in may call into the show and speak with our authors on the air. Or you may join the chat room if you are a member of Blog Talk Radio. Becoming a member is easy and allows you to become a radio host yourself.

Until the next time, thank you to all my new friends on Facebook and to any new readers. I haven't been concentrating because my husband is in the hospital once more for sarcoidosis. I've written about this on past blogs. If you are interested you can click on the link. He is better, but this is a slow process and I hope that he will be able to be out of the hospital for the holidays.

Happy Holidays to all of you!!!!

Saturday, July 17, 2010

My Life Changes and New Poetry

This is a view from the shoreline after rain at low tide

It's been a few weeks since I last posted and a lot has changed!!! My husband came out of the hospital a new person and he has pretty much gotten back almost all of his energy. The prednisone is taking away the calcium and hopefully it is working on the sarcoidosis. he has been able to tolerate it so far [knock wood]. But it does make him kind of manic and it's like truth serum. Anything he thinks comes out of his mouth with no regard for the feelings of the other person. This makes it kind of difficult to feel good, since he knows exactly what will push my buttons. However, there are many things about him in this new incarnation that I like. :)

Meanwhile, I have been writing poetry and tending to my own self. I went to the opthamologist and found out that I have to have a cataract removal operation in August. I don't really have that much trouble seeing, but the doctor said that it should be removed. When I do get it removed they will replace the lens with a new one that will let me see things at a distance. That is something I haven't been able to do since I was 11.:) I will let everyone know the date when it gets closer. It is only a few hours of my time and you get to go home that day.

As for the writing poetry part I am posting all the poems I have written in these two weeks. You will see that some of them are different from my usual style. Enjoy and let me know your comments, please. As always my poems were written to the prompts on Poetic Asides, the website for Robert Brewer who also thinks up the prompts each week. It's hard to write just one poem for each prompt and the people who post there are prolific and excellent poets. Each week we all post and discuss each other's poetry while coming back day after day until Wednesday rolls around again. You could say I and many others are addicted to the website. :)

I wanted everyone to know that one of my poems has been published on the website for Poets for Living Waters. It's called Earth and you need to look for it by title, because they left out my byline. Just click on the link for the poem and scroll down. Though they left out my byline it is in the right alphabetical order on Open Mic (D-G). I wrote to the editors who wrote back and said they would fix the error. However, tonight I went to check on it and they hadn't done it. So I wrote to them again and I am still waiting for an answer. I will let everyone know if I do hear from them in the comments for this blog. Poets for Living Waters was created to use poetry to bring attention to the effects of the oil spill on the Gulf's waters. Poets submit poems that apply to this topic and you can submit by email if you are interested. They are still accepting new poems. You can submit 1-3 poems each time. I am very happy to be in the company of other people from Poetic Asides who have their poems there too.

So here are all the poems I have written since the last post:

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Prompt: Write a poem for any of these titles:
  • Spectator falls from 2nd deck
  • Life under melting Arctic ice
  • Disheartened by the disaster
  • The Many Voices of Lauryn Hill
  • If You Can't Take the Heat, Use Fewer Jalapenos


Life Under Melting Arctic Ice

The ice formed around you
Clinging to your chest
Centering around your heart
And it formed a barrier
Shutting me out as if I were
suddenly stuck under the ice
Searching for a hole in the melting
glacier as I swam blindly shoving my
arms up toward the clear frozen
shelf reaching the flat surface
unable to push through the layers
as your words built more
And I floundered gasping for air
The energy to keep pushing sucked
from me in the vacuum of your
disinterest and disdain

And as I swam in the distance between
us my heart cracked thinking of this
formless existence without you
A tiny hole appeared, a pin prick only
Yet I fitted a finger through and
realized it was melting as I poked my
head through the larger hole and your
arms surrounded me in a warm apology
copyright 2010 by Barbara Ehrentreu


Spectator falls from 2nd Deck

A few hours out of port
he spied a figure in the water
beckoning as she rose revealing
her tail swishing behind
Mesmerizing him

He leaned over the
railing confirming her lustrous
locks trailing in the azure water
Blinking his eyes the image
remained taunting him singing
a strange high melody, and he leaned
further to hear as the notes hit his ears

In the dark no one saw or heard the splash
But a passenger on the first deck saw a
blob pass the porthole
Too late the announcement came over the
ship’s loudspeaker.
copyright 2010 by Barbara Ehrentreu



Disheartened by the disaster

He sorted through the mounds
of clothes finding pants six sizes
too big barely worn, creases crisp
Swimming on his smaller body.

He mourned their loss
as the pile to give away grew larger
Pain showed in his face
A remembrance of the waste of a life

Not sure why he bought them all
Confused by the emergence of
the man he’d hidden all these years
who no longer fitted these “clown pants”
as he called them

The loss of money, time, and fashion
too much for his recovering body
he grabbed the bag and tossed it into the
metal charity box hoping somewhere there would
be a man to fit all these oversized disasters.
copyright 2010 by Barbara Ehrentreu


Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Prompt: Write a poem using the title: After the rain


Shoreline after the rain

The water fled leaving bare rocks
Brown mud pocked with broken
shells normally hidden by the water
lay empty devoid of its usual occupants

My sneakered feet squeaked on the wet
boards of the boardwalk
as I passed the space where the blue heron
usually stood regally searching for prey

Searching for their hiding place i
walked along the shoreline
feeling the rain softened humid air
stick to my face as water dripped
in a fine mist as if sent through a sieve

Even the fireflies
toned down their show
after the rain.
copyright 2010 by Barbara Ehrentreu



Waking after the rain (Inspired by a newspaper story)

Warm from sleep they rubbed their eyes
remembering the fury of the rain pelting
their windows and banging against their roof
They had feared the new shingles replacing old
rotted ones would not hold and cause dripping
Creating a need for holders for the drops invading
each sacred inch of their pristine home

Elated the ceiling above their bed had held
they hugged and reaffirmed their love
Preparing for work, he came downstairs
whistling. Feeling ten years younger
as he took the stairs two at a time
a smile on his face

Debris covered the living room floor
bits of tree bark and pieces of leaves
Did the storm blow them through the door?
Confused he moved down one more step
past the protruding wall that had blocked his view
of the ceiling and the hole containing two large
tree branches poking into his living room
So the bang he had heard was not in his dream
after all.
copyright 2010 by Barbara Ehrentreu
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